not until were lost do we beg to understand ourselves. Thoreau
In every religion, therapy true change occurs when the person begins a new path that one has to learn completely. If you think you have the answers than new change will not happen unless one feels lost, anxious, and desperate for help, finally practicing new behavior. I found myself in that situation.
Who knew. It was the Sumner Of Love when I arrived in San Francisco in 1967.
I found a little apartment in the Haight Ashbury section. I still remember the first day I took the M trolley to San Francisco State College. I looked out at a clear view. I was waiting by a tunnel. A strange trolley approached like a miniature train and I felt I was in a different world of rolling hills, of wooden houses, painted bright colors. I felt new, reborn. Then I went off to Graduate School, English Major. God school felt all wrong. How can I feel so good one second and so bad the next. As the school went along I compared it to the happenings on Haight Street. It was a carnival of happenings. You couldn't walk down Haight St, later named Love Street, without a chaos of friendly people asking for dollars for some grass or acid. It was totally fun, alive, and the answers were out there. Timothy Leary, Ram Das and Yoga. I was all in and Graduate school became a burden.
My past has many layers, memories of San Francisco. I found an apartment on Baker Street near the Haight and was I surprised; the streets were packed with long haired people, literally hundreds, whispering every five feet, acid five dollars, grass. I was far away from where I grew up and Penn St. where I graduated. I was going to San Francisco State College to get my masters in Literature. Nothing that I truly wanted. But I was following my credo, be like a flexible person and make the best choice: staying out of the army, Vietnam, and being with my girlfriends, even though I was being sneaky about it with my family and my girlfriend. But I was following my bliss and knew nothing
I went to hear Carlos Castaneda. speak about his first book, The Teachings Of Don Juan. It was in the basement of Shambala Books in Berkeley, Cal.It was a hectic time of hippies, the Vietnan war and Psychedelic revolution starring Timothy Leary the guru of hallucinogenics.
Not knowing who I was I got married. We ultimately lost interest sexually and that sent me into a swirl. Being appropriate is haphazard.The bar is notorious for finally hooking up. But waking up with strangers will not work long term and so the addictive pattern leads to depression.
For the first time I became continually anxious. Because Yoga calmed me down I began a study with Kriyananda a disciple of Yogananda. It all seemed correct. I always believed in a greater power and Yoga did also. Judaeo Christianity felt innocuous, and all there answers never spoke to my sexual biology. But ultimately Kriyananda when being initiated asked us to be celibate; I also knew it became the wrong path. Though I continued doing Yoga and developed a study of Zen Meditation techniques, studying Suzuki's One Mind. I had some strong experiences of sweating in the cold mornings, and experiencing slowing down my heart. I practiced Hatha Yoga and Raja meditation for 7 years. Every morning I would awake at 5 AM and first do Hatha for about 1 hour and then meditate using different breathing exercises, and Self Realizations special breathing techniques. I found just sitting and watching and listening to myself the most effective at calming me down I began to do these practices twice, once in the morning and then again in the afternoon. I felt insulated from the craziness of the world. It was very reassuring to feel independent of all. I would sit and meditate and feel so special, like God was waiting for me Specially sitting in the yoga meditation position demands a fixed contracted posture. This posture by freezing the muscles stops most energy except the movement of breath.The Lotus position preoccupies most of ones consciousness and allows one to feel present. Meditation was a way to be safe without destructive addictions. Anxiety has been eliminated: no feelings except a frozen pleasure. So what happened that took me away from Yoga? If I could have meditated all day and never want to have relations with women I would still be doing Yoga. Except I was very attracted to the opposite sex and slowly that connection taught me that Yoga would only protect me from truly knowing myself. I surmised that Yoga and meditation is helpful because it keeps one safe from dealing with denial, in fact it reinforces denial.
Ultimately my chaotic marriage dissolved. Yet being single and alone I began to re-experience anxiety. Thankfully my previous wife was able to recommend a Orgone Therapist, Dr. Rinn. I was working in the Haight and would travel to Oakland (On Alcaltraz St. hah) to his office. It began as a difficult Therapy. I was 25, but Dr. Rinn, taught by Dr. Duvall who was trained by Dr. Reich, had all the tools to to get under my skin. After 7 years of Therapy I decided I knew enough to be on my own. Orgone Therapy is the movement of energy that Yoga, and shamanic teachings did not fully access
There was no true way of understanding ones character till Dr.Reich developed Orgone Therapy. Specifically meditation is top down, thoughts create the wake up, while Orgone Therapy wakes the body which wakes the mind. It is an important difference because meditation leaves you with a partial therapy, a partial flow of energy to the surface of the body, while Orgone Therapy awakens a stronger flow that moves through the body.The body is the reservoir of warm blooded streaming Orgone release; life now makes sense. Orgone Therapy incorporates the biology
of our species differentiating it from the old spiritual teachings that focus on sitting and praying. Groups of people praying has its own joy, and praying can be connection to a larger power. To feel the Orgone pulse within no other practice Eastern or Western has Orgone Therapy's knowledge: initiated by Freud and developed and culminating with Reich.
Continual lack of contact between men and women will lead to estrangement. No -body has the way to satisfaction and peace. Having no body leads to too much thinking, to perversions and addictions.
When Orgone streamings are non existent than rules substitute for authentic ideas, action and work,
Reliving the past is the cornerstone of any successful Therapy, one that Castaneda, Don Juan call recapitulations and uses techniques that has drugs and violence to awaken the past in a haphazard way. Truly those who do not understand the past are doomed to repeat it. Carlos has to go over his past and find where it affected him.
Dr. Reich discovered how to awaken a person without drugs; Orgone Therapy knows how to awaken the Orgone, energy by hands on work. It has its immense challenges. No one is immune from wanting to escape the expression of hidden character that lies in the unconscious.Finally experiencing what one has hidden, buried, frozen. is liberating. Now the flow of Orgone will instinctively make sense. Unlike Don. Juans escape to other worlds to find satisfaction now the path to completion is knowable and here.
The movement of Orgone to the surface of the body can be accomplished many different ways from hallucinating drugs, to meditating in a deep cave( similar to Dr. Reich's Orgone Box both containing high amounts of iron absorbing Orgone, the psychic Edger Cayce also used iron ). The difference in Don Juans approach and Yoga, is there is no depth of understanding. One doesn't understand how one's character has formed to protect oneself from feeling: protecting is a defense from being overwhelmed by an old feeling that causes paralysis in the present and in the past. Don Juan accesses these feeling by putting his disciples in untenable situations which causes eruptions of Orgone; the definitive moment for Carlos Castaneda and for me is when Carlos is attacked. His life is totally in danger and he needs to unlock his core Orgone to survive. (George Harrison also attacked and experienced a similar upheaval, the song called Looking For My Life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0OsD3LHb0U&list=PLD674BDB8300D8FAF&index=4 )Don Juan's manipulation turned me off completely; what a desperate, nasty way to access ones hidden energy. Not for me. And ultimately Don Juan ended his legacy of teaching. Perhaps because of cruelty.
Yoga uses practicing for hours and being celibate to illicit the unconscious Prana. The feeling of being totally alive is different in all three modalities. In yoga and accessory systems its a stiffening of the body, contracting sitting musculature and breathing till a self hypnosis occurs and one enters an outer body experience. Being in touch with that Prana is empowering: it takes effort, discipline and the rewards is some awareness. Castaneda methods is movement, action and drugs and absorbing the energy from your own revolt at passivity. Unlike Yoga, Don Juan does use recapitulation, and some knowledge of how your past holds one back from entering into the second awareness, or the appearance of the unconscious and its energy to illicit a deeper view of reality. The final and in my experience complete reality is Orgone work; actually reliving of the past right to embryonic state. All the the restrictions that one has buried in the unconscious will be felt Orgonomically.
The search for meaning, answers, is written right in our bodies: it is the unified Orgone experience. We are Orgone. Our Orgone moves in response to our interconnections with everything in our universe. Superimposition is the matrix of our life; fusing together to experience the clarity of living. Cosmic intercourse.